A MEMORABLE FUNERAL: MINE

 

A MEMORABLE FUNERAL: MINE

 

I died on May 12th of this very year and I was sure I was headed to Hell.

 When alive I was accused of being an irritable know-it-all, a non-stop ranter, and an award-winning boozer. I was considered a selfish man who squandered my kid's college tuition on sports cars. 



But after observing my funeral and hearing folks memorialize me it turns out that I was a knowledgeable renaissance man -- a man who knew everything about everything; a discerning man, who could identify every brand of liquor ever brewed, and who could identify every sports car ever made; a man who put his kids above almost everything.

The world, I now believe, is lucky to have known me. I am so sorry for its loss.

 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Image
  GUESS WHAT?   Guess what? Men and women are different, though where I live, it's not PC to say that.  Our genes are different, our cells are different and our brains are different too—and I'm so glad. Men can be such jerks.   Female mammals—you know, we animals with large mammary glands--tend to put our offspring first and will do anything to protect them. We seek out security in the form of a good mate, though thankfully these days, some of us human females no longer have to rely on males for security.   As for males, they go for power, which gives them access to sex. These days, nothing much has changed with men.   We have tried to deny this male-female difference. Male babies prefer things with wheels and female babies prefer plush dolls because, we say, they have been culturally biased from birth. Well guess what? Girl babies, be they humans or chimps, do prefer plush toys and males do prefer things with wheels, and studies have proven this....
Read more

CALIFORNIA LAW ALERT!

Image
   Almost 1000 important new laws are passed in CA each year.   CALIFORNIA LAW ALERT!   Section 1708.5 of the Civil Code. 2021 My friend was concerned. "Stealthing will soon be illegal in California. It passed the legislature unanimously with only one major amendment—the word penis was changed to sexual organ ."    "I'm sorry", I said in response to my friend's concern, "but stealthing ? What is it?"   "Well to be blunt, it means if I take off my condom when I am screwing without partner permission, I am screwed."   "And if you don’t get partner permission, what will happen?"   "My partner can sue me."   "And if you do ask permission?" I persisted.    "Well," he paused, "she or he can say ok , or she or he can say no and in either case she or he can sue me because who the hell can prove to a court-of-law what either of us said when screwing. It's a he said she said,...
Read more