A MEMORABLE FUNERAL: MINE

 

A MEMORABLE FUNERAL: MINE

 

I died on May 12th of this very year and I was sure I was headed to Hell.

 When alive I was accused of being an irritable know-it-all, a non-stop ranter, and an award-winning boozer. I was considered a selfish man who squandered my kid's college tuition on sports cars. 



But after observing my funeral and hearing folks memorialize me it turns out that I was a knowledgeable renaissance man -- a man who knew everything about everything; a discerning man, who could identify every brand of liquor ever brewed, and who could identify every sports car ever made; a man who put his kids above almost everything.

The world, I now believe, is lucky to have known me. I am so sorry for its loss.

 

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